TAIL CONCERTO (PS1) ✓

Wow, where do I start? I think I found about this game from reading about obscure PS1 games in general. I got a new PS2 when I was 17 (last one I had in high school burnt out), so I was just itching to get some new (to me) games. I never grew up with the PS1 (just the N64 and Nintendo handhelds) so its catalog was uncharted territory for me and I always found its low-poly graphics cute. I was very lucky enough to get a physical copy of this in 2010! It'd take a lot to make me resell it.

I was in love with this game the moment I saw the animated intro. The characters were so cute and I liked the floating islands setting. This game is mostly a personality-shaping novelty for me, I haven't played it since I bought it (oops!). The gameplay isn't bad but it's not amazing. It's literally just controlling the robot and grabbing or throwing things. The dubbed voices are absolutely grating and I wish there was a way to have the original JP track.

This game is the first game in the Little Tail Bronx series, which deserved to have gotten off the ground the way it wanted to.

SOLATOROBO: RED THE HUNTER (NDS) ✓

Tail Concerto was proposed to have a sequel on the PS2, but was rejected due to having bad sales. A spiritual successor in the same Little Tail Bronx setting was planned instead, and took 10 years of conceptualization and 3 years of development. So how lucky was I to find out that a spiritual succesor to what was my current favorite game was going to be released a year after I discovered it? I own a physical copy of this with the soundtrack!

And while the actual gameplay is button mash-y (the "riding on a robot and grabbing/throwing things" formula again) and the Air Robo GP multiplayer and fishing mini game is a pain in the ass, it's everything I could've asked for art and story-wise. I screamed when the Tail Concerto characters and Mamoru-kun appeared in the story!

The next game in the series, Fuga: Melodies of Steel, was released in 2021. I own it digitally, but haven't played it yet.

SUMMON NIGHT: SWORDCRAFT STORY (GBA) ✓

I once stumbled upon a fanart from an artist I followed of a character that resembled a green Klonoa wearing a hat and boxing gloves. I thought it was cute, but wasn't invested otherwise. Then in 2008, I saw this game recommended on 4chan's /u/ board (it was high school, come on). I had to look into this now.

That said, you shouldn't play this because it's "gay", you should play it because it's actually good. I was hooked by the charming graphics and the fun gameplay. The crafting is fun and rewarding. The same-sex content a mixed bag in my opinion, even if there's plenty of fodder. I never finished my playthrough with Sugar because her clinginess is annoying and uncomfortable. The ending I chose on my first playthrough was also with Varil (which is the same with the male protagonist), even though I was rooting for Sanary. I would play this at school constantly on my GBA Micro. There is significant replay value with choosing weapons, your summon beast, and who you have a paired ending with. I'd love to play this again, my most recent playthrough as an adult was halfway finished...

I'm very disappointed that Summon Night is a mostly Japan-exclusive IP, since this spin-off is amazing. I was once again lucky enough to buy a used copy at my nearby Gamestop, but I own a physical copy of the sequel too. (Which I unfortunately haven't finished it, but it's a lot better technically.) A fan translation of the third also exists, but I haven't played it.

KLONOA (series) ✓

I was always intrigued by Klonoa...I remember seeing fanart of him in elementary school, but I assumed he was an OC, until I briefly had a PS2 in middle school and rented a copy of Lunatea's Veil. But I ended up not playing it much. Then I got a copy of Dream Champ Tournament because I loved the character art, but got stuck in it. Then I emulated the other GBA games for awhile. I got the Wii remake for awhile, but didn't finish and had to resell it.

Around 2014 I finally played and finished Lunatea's Veil and loved it, but I actually never played the original until 2017. I finally modded my Wii so there were so many opportunities for games I missed out on. I technically played it twice, both the Wiimake and the original afterward, since some PS1 games are playable on a Wii! Both games play identical, but I prefer the original... I don't recommend Wiimake outside of collector/comparison reasons, the graphics may be technically "better" but it lacks the character the PS1 did and the opening scene is a soulless travesty.

Both of the main Klonoa games are, ironically, pretty depressing and the ending for the first was a mindfuck despite its cute exterior and simple gameplay. Such is the life for a Dream Traveler. I haven't finished the GBA games, but I did feel like I was missing out by not playing 1&2 for so many years. After the end of Shiftylook and the webcomic ending on a cliffhanger, I had no hopes in the planned movie going anywhere. Klonoa is in Bamco's doghouse...for now.

Klonoa Phantasy Reverie Series, a remaster of 1&2 has been released in 2022. I own it, but haven't played much yet. Click here for my thoughts on Phantasy Reverie's remake of Door to Phantomile compared to the Wiimake.

BONK'S ADVENTURE / PC GENJIN (PC ENGINE) ☐

This series sure taught me to not judge a book by it's cover. The USA art is FUCKING HIDEOUS! Bad western box art strikes again. Was Bonk overlooked as a worthy rival to Mario and Sonic because of his looks, or his console? I never heard of the PC Engine/Turbografx-16 until I saw this on the Wii virtual console and gave it a shot. It's simple but very fun! I own Bonk's Adventure and Bonk's Revenge, the latter is a lot better. I'm not sure if I have Bonk 3.

I liked this series enough to buy a used copy of the Gameboy port off eBay once upon a time, and it's a decent portable version of the first game. I also downloaded Air Zonk, which is a weird futuristic shooter spin-off. I personally don't like Air Zonk as much, but we have to admit the OST kind of slaps.

Cyber Chickens

Brains Town

PULSEMAN (SEGA GENESIS) ☐

A lot of my knowledge of obscure games came from reading reviews and looking at sprites online. I used a shared computer and had no idea how to download emulators and ROMs, let alone buy a system and second-hand physical copy for everything. That was until I found there are websites that let you play older games in your browser in about 2005. Pulseman was something I stumbled onto when looking at Genesis games; the title and cover reminded me of Mega Man, which was something I never really got into. But then I found out this is by Game Freak. What were the developers of Pokemon doing on a Sega console?

I later bought this on the Wii virtual console when it was available, but this game is more in the "personal novelty" camp than something I fully played to the end (sorry!), although I have tried to make it past a few stages. I've always been curious about Game Freak's non-Pokemon games, especially with Ken Sugimori's old art style. Pulseman has some ties to Pokemon, mostly in Generation 4. The graphics are pretty good and so is the soundtrack. Then again, Junichi Masuda worked on it.

TECHNOLOGY

Pulseman is now available to play on Nintendo Switch Online, but keep circulating the ROMs for good measure.

JELLY BOY 2 (SNES) (unreleased) ☐

Jelly Boy/Jerry Boy, or Smart Ball in the US, was another one of Game Freak's non-Pokemon games. Jerry Boy is a typical platformer starring a blob (a blue one - not to be confused with another game called Jelly Boy with a purple one). I played a bit of it and it's not terrible, but not interesting either. Jelly Boy 2, on the other hand, was an unreleased game. It was going to be published by Sony until they decided to cut production on its non-Playstation projects. However, a leaked ROM and fan translation is available online. Check it out! I played this on a modded Wii, which really brought the intended experience of being a console game.

Jelly Boy 2 has a lot more to do than the previous game, the levels have an amusement park theme and 6 different characters to choose from with their own abilities (I like the dog!). Ken Sugimori did the art and the designs are very cute.

MIGHTY SWITCH FORCE! (series) ✓

Summer of 2013 was when I had zero AC, my shitty outdated Mac computer that was given to me was on its last leg, I started playing the 3DS I got for Christmas (mostly Pokemon), and I discovered Wayforward's library. Sitting in my room in the Texas heat, sweating my ass off with the fans blaring on in my room, attempting to run an art program via Wine on the dying Mac, while playing Shantae on my 3DS is pretty loaded memory.

I liked Shantae (couldn't navigate the first game, but I liked Risky's Revenge), so I gave Mighty Switch Force a shot and was instantly hooked enough by this fast-paced puzzle-platformer to buy the sequel shortly afterward. The first game has a cop theme (hence the protagonist name Patricia "Patty" Wagon) trying to catch the six escaped Hooligan Sisters. In the sequel they've been reformed, but now the planet is on fire, hence the firefighter theme. I prefer 2 since the water hose leads to some interesting problem solving with the puzzles.

This is one of the very few games I have 100% completed (the closest is that I 99% completed the first Warioware); I finished all the P.A.R times in both games, and found the secret babies to be rescued in the second game. This is a pretty big deal since I tend to not finish games often, and both Mighty Switch Force games go up on the difficulty in later levels. It was a trial-and-error process but I did it, thanks to help with guides on Youtube.

The soundtrack for both is also fantastic and name your price on Bandcamp. Check out the other soundtracks, too!

Woah! I'm In Space Cuba!

Soft Collision

Rescue Girl

Mighty Switch Force 1&2 has been rereleased multiple times. The original is on 3DS, but there's an HD rerelease on the Wii-U and a collection bundled with a third game I haven't played on PC, Switch, Xbox, etc. I prefer the pixel graphics of the original, so I never bothered with the Wii-U's HD port, but I will likely get the Switch rerelease one day. I highly recommend this to anyone who wants a reasonably challenging puzzle-platformer, and if not, the soundtrack is free.

... Just keep safe search on when searching it, though.

GAME BOY CAMERA (Gameboy) ☐

Game Boy Camera was extremely ambitious in my opinion, and it was such a fascinating mystery to explore even as a child with all the minigames, fun graphics and music, and little hidden secrets. You need a physical copy itself for the full experience, but even a ROM without the camera functions is worth checking out.

As a child I had a Game Boy Printer too, but sold it years later. I was honestly more into the mini games and bonus features than taking photos - I know there's some actual photography done using this, but I never figured out the methods to transfer from a game cart to PC, since they tend to involve a third-party device.

I still kept my Game Boy Camera, even though I ended up stupidly getting rid of other consoles I had back then, but I couldn't just give this up. Mine is the same color as my Gameboy Pocket, so it looked like it had a face! Isn't it cute?

I'm very sad we will likely never have something like Game Boy Camera again when it comes to creativity and humor. The only console I grew up with was the N64, so I missed out on Mario Paint, which I think has a similar vibe to this.

BAGI, THE MONSTER OF MIGHTY NATURE ☐

In 2014, Osamu Tezuka's daughter found her father's stash of erotic art locked in his desk, one of the notable pieces was a series of drawings of a nude mouse woman. I wasn't shocked by this news, personally, because I watched this move 5 years before.

Bagi is a TV special that aired in 1984, written as a critique of the Japanese's government's approval of recombinant DNA research. Why would the potential creation of cat girlfriends be used as an argument against humans playing God...? I guess being hornycoded (but not explicit) is one of Tezuka's creator thumbprints alongside heavy messages and cute aesthetics.

The first time I watched it I was reminded of the original subtitled version of the first Pokemon movie and Mewtwo's questioning of existence and coming to the conclusion that your origin doesn't matter, the life you live now does. However...Bagi doesn't have a happy ending like that.

Bagi jumps around a lot in its 85 minute duration, and its downer ending leaves more questions than answers. Ryo is also just not a great protagonist, but we know the main focus is really on Bagi. It's mostly a novelty or collector's item if you're a fan of Tezuka. Just don't make the mistake I did and assume it's going to be something cute and watch it with a family member...

XENOBLADE CHRONICLES X (Wii U) ✓

Not even a distant land, we're stuck on a whole different planet...

Black Tar

The black sheep on what's technically an AAA franchise, Xenoblade X isn't directly connected to any of the other games (for now), but I recommend it for that reason. Xenoblade is a solid series in general, but X has a very different feel that can be either jumped into by itself, or as a side dish if you enjoyed 1/2/3 and want something different but wth the same gameplay.

A specific appeal that X has for me in particular is that despite being very hostile to you, it also feels like home. Being released from your cryogenically frozen pod and waking up on Mira is a culture shock. Your old planet (yes, Earth) has been destroyed, everything is new and out to kill you. Just existing in NLA (New Los Angeles) is learning to work within this planet (and there is something about this planet, as Elma says in the main story) and carve your own space.

I started playing this in late 2018 at a time where I felt the world was very hostile and scary to live in, I was on the cusp of my life finally changing and reintegrating back into society. (Two years before exiting NEETdom, to be specific.) X was a support game to navigate while passing the time, especially when I got to the part where Skells were unlocked. Exploration is the main focus of any Xenoblade, and there was something special about finally getting a Skell that can fly and going back to the areas to find new things you missed. However, the learning curve gets pretty steep, and certain parts of the game like the final boss I squeaked by with pure luck. (And leaving my borrowed Wii U on overnight to have my Skell's fuel recharge...)

The main story isn't bad, but it's a bit barren (in the sense it's intended to have a sequel, but...) and ends on a cliffhanger that hasn't been answered since its release (2015 - note that two sequels and a rerelease of the first game have been out since then). The side quests are where it really shines when it comes to character writing and learning about the new world and society being built, and what happened before. Not to mention, the world does become less hostile as the game goes on and more optional side quests were unlocked. I loved seeing all the different alien NPCs and interacting with them, learning about their differing culture from both humans and other species.

The OST is fantastic (see embedded track, Black Tar), and the graphics are also very good. I never downloaded the HD texture packs and still had a great experience. The character models are often uncanny valley in the face, which I dislike a lot, but that can be explained by a key spoiler revealed at the end. The environments are uniquely beautiful even for a Xenoblade game, and it almost makes me wish Mira was real despite the hostile fauna. But even then, I want to pet some of them...

X is currently the only Xenoblade game that hasn't been ported on the Switch yet, although Elma makes a cameo as a blade in 2's DLC. Tetsuya Takahashi has said in interviews that he's interested in a port after development of 2 is finished, but as of 2022 2023, we have Xenoblade 3 and its DLC story instead. My dream is either an enchanced Switch port or an X2 that's a direct sequel but knowledge of X is optional, so anyone who missed this on the Wii U can jump into it. But for now, we have no idea if we'll find out what is exactly going on with Mira and this game will just stay as a "must have" for the Wii U.

WONDER SHOWZEN ☐

WARNING: WONDER SHOWZEN CONTAINS OFFENSIVE, DESPICABLE CONTENT THAT IS TOO CONTROVERSIAL AND TOO AWESOME FOR ACTUAL CHILDREN. THE STARK, UGLY, PROFOUND TRUTHS WONDER SHOWZEN EXPOSES MAY BE SOUL-CRUSHING TO THE WEAK OF SPIRIT. IF YOU ALLOW A CHILD TO WATCH THIS SHOW, YOU ARE A BAD PARENT OR GUARDIAN.

Oh Jesus. This is coming closer to developmental psychology territory than an actual media reccommendation. Hear me out...

I was 12 years old, and randomly flipping through channels late at night. A recipe for disaster to the current generation, but for my age and older, this was character building. I was pretty obsessed with secretly watching channels that aired things that were in the TV-14 to TV-MA range. Hey, I'd say I'm pretty mature for my age. I love Adult Swim! Then I flipped the channel to to MTV 2 and saw a horrific sight. It was an out-of-context scene where a puppet was infected with cooties, and another puppet was peeling them off as he screams in protest. All while remarking how delicious they tasted...leading to selling them as a food akin to pizza bagels. Chewties!

It literally made me sick to my stomach. I used to love pizza bagels! But the association of this scene made me so sick I swore off them for several months. In fact, just watching a few minutes of this show made me want to throw up all over the TV screen. Instead of choosing to avoid this channel and show like the plague, I ended up becoming fascinated by it and would try to catch new episodes of season one as it aired. At one point I made a mini essay about this show in school and read it out loud to the class. Does that explain anything about me? Probably...

Wonder Showzen is a black comedy parody of Sesame Street by PFFR. How the fuck this aired on TV is beyond me, but the fact it did is what makes it novel. It's also frankly, not for the faint of heart or easily offended. The first episode has an on-screen sex scene between two letters of the alphabet. One of the recurring segments is literally titled Beat Kids where a bunch of elementary schoolers "interview" (antagonize) random passerbys in New York City with loaded questions. (One dresses up as Hitler while asking "What's wrong with the youth of today?" LMFAO) Other episodes include moments like God killing himself after losing a game of rock-paper-scissors, a group of girls who transform into Bratz doll-esque teenagers by vomitting, a dog that's also an OBGYN... Among even more incredibly offensive shit that would absolutely not fly nowadays except on niche corners of the internet.

Wonder Showzen is the origin of a decent amount of memes I've seen circulated on social media in the last decade. Notably the "Slaves" song, "Celebrate Our Differences", "Shut up hippie", and the Q&A segment where a bunch of children are asked what love or happiness is with varying answers. My personal favorite is a scene from a Beat Kids segment where Trevor asks a butchered pig head how long it's been a cop.

Do I reccommend Wonder Showzen? I can't answer that, sorry. I haven't rewatched an episode in over a decade, and I know nothing about season two. It's mostly season one and the chewties scene that are embedded in my psyche and affected my sense of humor just as much as Nickelodeon gross-out shows. If it sounds like something up your alley or bile fascination-worthy, then go for it. It's on Archive.org. Maybe I'll watch it again someday?

SPACE STATION SILICON VALLEY (NINTENDO 64) ☐

This is more of a stroll down memory lane than anything else, although I suspect this game is another origin of my sense of humor and aesthetics. The title screen music gets stuck in my head even now.

YEAH! Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!

I rented this game a lot at Blockbuster (...how many readers at home know what that is? *sigh*) alongside Chameleon Twist. The copy there had a lot of zones unlocked, so I had a blast exploring through them. This game is...frankly, very weird and novel. It's a third-person platformer where you play as a bodysnatcher! There's an actual backstory behind this, but I didn't care as a kid. I just thought the first level alone was both fun and funny. Just a microchip jumping inside the body of various robot animals and seeing what they can do.

The last time I attempted to emulate this game, there were a lot of weird graphical glitches, so I tried to find a used copy for a short time. I considered looking for the PS1 port, Evo's Space Adventures, but I've read nothing but bad things about it. I played the Gameboy Color port for a hot minute, but didn't find it anything special. I'd like to play this game again one day...